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My Emptiness
Thoughts of emptiness,
Yet everything runs through my mind.
Confusing the hell out of me,
When is my time?
Why the constant rush,
That rush to do nothing.
As i hurry along to pick up after others
Everything starts to unwind.
The speed, like lightning
The thoughts, like molasses
The urge to do something
The will to do none.
An unequal balance in my head
Like an atom of krypton
So unstable.
Reassuring others the best,
In return is my emptiness.
Like a constant buzzing,
Friends causing distress.
Like Jews in concentration camps,
Striving to stay alive,
Striving to beat this,
Doing the most i can, but not able to defeat this.
People never without their blinders
Never acknowledging , seeing nothing wrong
Those who do never noticing the depth,
Even so denied the truth.
What is there to hide?
Always open and out going,
Yet approached and turned into a little rolly polly.
Tying to keep something inside
Something important..?
Or maybe insecurity..
Could it be the insecurity?
Or is it just emptiness
That emptiness that fills you up
The emptiness that drops you right when you think its ok
That emptiness that is hidden,
Like a rabbit in a medow
Quiet, fragile, unstable, hidden..
Hidden deep within the meadow out of sight but still in plain view
The powerful strong rabbit, that contains me
That hole of emptiness is what holds me
From deep inside but still in control
Is it because I let this emptiness grow old?
Grow and take over..
Maybe... still not sure
Very uncertain of everything
Everything except my emptiness.
Aware of my problems, my struggles, my pain
With nowhere to go and nothing to gain,
I still stand here with my emptiness inside.
Copyright ©2003 Latoya Smith
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